September 2024

Quietness is not a bad thing

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As an introvert I have found that a lot of people will often times equate silence for something “wrong” or worrying. Being quiet is not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean that someone is upset or feeling downcast in some way.

This is just how some people function. Much like an extrovert cannot help but fill the silence, introverts cannot help being quiet. It is something we do to regulate ourselves when our social battery is low.

Quietness is tranquil, it is not a signifier of something awry.

Sometimes we may still end up overthinking someone’s quietness. Especially when it is sudden or uncharacteristic of them. Being able to communicate that to people can help overcome those anxieties surrounding quietness.

Before asking, always make sure to practice discernment. Is this person usually quiet in the mornings? Rather than overthinking about the less than energetic vibes they give off after a party or work, ask yourself if it is usual for them. They may need a moment to recharge and will return to conversate when they are ready.

Voice your concerns to them if you feel it is something serious.

Of course there are instances where the quietness is not usual for that particular person. It is then encouraged to communicate how you feel towards them. Hey, I noticed you have been so quiet lately, do you want to talk about anything? This can help the person confide in you if something is wrong.

At the end of the day, quietness is not something that should be assumed as a bad thing. Everyone has their quiet moments, and we all have our more noisy moments as well. Being able to understand the difference between peace and noise can bring strength to our relationships. Knowing when to ask and knowing when to let people be and enjoy the quietness with them.

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Relationships

What good can come from a white lie?

Leave a Comment / Life, Relationships / /

Do you ever think of yourself as an honest person? Someone who always tells the truth regardless of what may happen? Just by asking yourself that question alone, you may have thought of instances where you may have told a white lie.

What is a white lie?

A white lie is a lie about something small or unimportant to avoid hurting another person.* For those who try their best to be as honest as possible, this may seem unthinkable. However, you may not even notice you create white lies all the time.

One example I noticed is when a friend and I went to try out a new restaurant. After sitting down to order some food, my friend told me he did not find it very good. The owner of the restaurant came to our table to ask us how we liked the food. Without missing a beat, my friend told him it was very good!

Confused by this lie, I listened to them conversate and then afterwards asked why he lied. He told me that he wanted to make that man’s day. The owner had come to our table happily asking us what we thought and instead of giving blunt feedback, he was given reassurance in that moment.

When is it necessary to lie?

You would likely answer never. It is never okay to lie. What about a white lie? As we defined above, these lies are used to avoid hurting someone else. For my friend, he chose to do this to avoid hurting the restaurant owner’s feelings. Instead, he chose to make a negative food experience into a positive one by offering words of encouragement to someone else.

Maybe it wasn’t true but it was kind. Spreading kindness whenever you can, is what may constitute a reason to let a white lie slip. Even though we may not be truthful in that moment, would it really be so terrible to spare someone’s feelings and make their day a little brighter?

If the lie creates more good than bad, wouldn’t that be reason enough to tell it? So what good can from a white lie? The goodness comes from making someone happy, by spreading kindness, and by being good to those who are out there at least trying.

*White lie definition

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/white%20lie

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Life, Relationships