I had a conversation with someone close to me who recounted about a loved one who is going through a hard time. They told me that they are feeling unhappy with where they are in life and that they are unhappy with themselves and their choices. It was hard to hear, especially when the news is about a loved one.
I thought about the ways I could help them. I thought of giving them a huge spiel about how great they are. How it doesn’t do well to dwell on past mistakes. I wanted to give them a little light to take them out of that dark place. This is what I planned to say to them.
Happiness isn’t just handed to you, you have to choose it.
I am a firm believer in the ability to find happiness in anything or any situation. You cannot simply wait for something to happen that will give you happiness. If you tell yourself, Oh, I’ll be happy once I do ___ or when I have ___I will finally be happy. Happiness is not found in objects or constructs. Happiness starts with you.
It’s okay to strive for the things that you feel will truly make you happy. However, you cannot rest your happiness on whether they will come or not. By doing so, you delay your own happiness. You have to choose to be happy every day. It can be easy to when you practice gratitude or indulge in the people, places, or experiences that provide that happiness.
Happiness is not just a feeling, it’s a mindset.
Have you ever met people that just exude unbridled joy? Their presence seemed to fill the whole room with a positive feeling, and you found yourself catching secondhand happiness? Well, guess what. Their lives aren’t perfect. No one’s is! They aren’t happy because they have everything they want, they are happy because they choose to be.
Instead of falling back into negative emotions, thoughts, or situations. Practice steering your thoughts in a positive direction by looking for the good. You missed your bus? Ah, it happens, you just have to catch the next one. You failed a test? That’s okay, just review and do better next time. Someone is making you feel awful? Let them go, and remember the people that cherish you.
Of course, some situations can be truly upsetting. It’s important to find a good support system if you believe you need it. Seek enriching activities that will improve a positive mindset and tend to your mental health. We all have our own daily battles, but don’t forget to look for the good and choose the path of joy. It may take a couple tries, but soon being happy won’t just be a choice, it’ll be your default setting.