Jess

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How to win as an introvert

If you’re an introvert you may know all too well the struggles of trying to either gain friendships, connections, or to just live peacefully in such a noisy world. As someone who use to be painfully shy (and still have my moments), I can give you some insight into how to come out of that shell.

Observe and Learn

One of the ways I was able to become better at trying to break out of my shell was observing the behavior of people that were more extroverted than I was. I noticed that often times, they weren’t afraid to take up space or make their presence known.

While introverts typically tend to keep to themselves or not share their opinion as much, extroverts are more bold. Speaking up more is one of the ways that you will be able to break out of that framework. It’s okay to share your thoughts and opinions, people will be interested to hear what you say. Especially as an introvert, usually it’s the most quietest person whose thoughts ring out the loudest. You’ll be surprised by what you can contribute!

Lot’s of Practice!

You won’t really get better at being a social butterfly if you don’t practice! Maybe the goal isn’t to be extremely social either. Maybe you just want to be able to make small talk without being awkward or overthinking it.

The best way to get good at something is to just do it. It may be hard at first, but if you do it enough times, it will get much easier. If you can, practice with strangers. If you don’t get ideal results, or things take an awkward turn, you’ll be reassured that you’ll likely never see that person again. When things go great, awesome, you have a new connection!

Don’t Overthink It

Also, remember that most people are friendly. They won’t bite! People will not judge you for trying. It’s great that you are even taking that first step at all. It is good to do the hard things in life, because that is how we grow. Don’t overthink about what you’re saying. Hearing different perspectives is what makes society interesting.


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Cats can show us how to practice gratitude

Awhile ago my cat had been meowing for my attention. I was sitting at the computer doing work when I felt him brush against my leg. I gave him some pets here and there, but ultimately my work became my main focus.

Knowing this, my cat decided to jump onto the swivel chair, at first nuzzling my back as I worked, then climbing higher to be in my line of sight. Once again, I gave him a pet here and there but went back to work. He began to whimper.

I started to rush through my work (which ended up creating even worse work) and realized the best way to deal with the issue was to deal with it in that moment. Sliding my laptop away, I scooped him up and repositioned him so that he would be laying against my chest. I held him firmly and began to coo and pet him gently.

My cat, Bruce, watching over my shoulder as I work

By giving him my undivided attention, he began to purr back satisfied that his mother was finally responding to him. I sat there with him, being present in the moment, listening only to his purrs as they filled the silence. I realized then how easy it was to make him happy.

For some cats like mine, just showing you care and giving them that one on one time is appreciated. I felt that his life was really simple then, only asking for food and water as well as love. I began to look at my own life and reflected about the little things that made me happy.

Petting him there, I realize just how rich he and I were and I was grateful to him for showing me that as well. It was almost a sign to stop overworking myself and take a moment to practice gratitude. I recommend it for everyone to practice daily, not only because of this coming holiday but just because it’s good to recognize all the amazing things life has offered and will offer you.

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Pets, Self Care

Overthinking is pointless, it’s time to underthink

The title says it all. Overthinking is pointless. If you are someone who overthinks about certain situations or experiences, you may often experience an avalanche of thoughts that buries you alive.

While that may sound slightly hyperbolic, I would say as someone who also dabbles in overthinking from time to time, it can feel quite overwhelming. We will discuss why it’s harmful and why it may (and most likely) just all be in your head.

Why is your brain doing this?

There are a number of reasons of why our thought processes tend to spiral because of mundane situations. Some include stress, mental health problems, perfectionism, and low self-esteem, to name a few. Overthinking isn’t fun, and at times it’s really just us trying to make sense out of a situation or to fill in the gaps so to speak.

Although, at times it may be tough to combat these lines of thought, it’s not impossible. With practice we can begin to flip our thoughts by thinking of our predicaments more practically. For others, this may not work, and that is where the experts come in. Therapy is a useful tool, as well as getting the treatment and emotional help needed that comes with excessive overthinking.

Ways to combat overthinking: Underthinking

If you really want to change your overthinking habits, it may be time to underthink it. That’s right. Underthink. That is what I call it at least.

When we take an already convoluted thought process, and try to chip it away until it’s smaller than it is, we can get rid of excessive overthinking. One example I will give is recently when my phone decided to not work. For a moment it was not taking calls nor was it able to send any.

After getting a text message from a friend I was worried they would think I was ignoring them. I began to call many times, as well as reach out on social media, fearing a miscommunication would happen and they would be upset, etc. When the call was eventually able to go through, I came to find they weren’t upset at all. I had overthought the situation.

The point is, if I had simply underthought the situation, then it would have went something like this. Hmm, my phone isn’t taking any calls… I will just try to send this one message to them. If it doesn’t go through, that’s okay. I can explain once my phone works. Simple right? That is the art of underthinking.

Make your problems smaller

A lot of overthinking can come from us feeling like we will mess up or that we need to be perfect all the time. No one is perfect, and it is okay to give yourself some grace for the slight blunders you’ll make during social interactions. No one is going to point and laugh at you because you’re wearing a jacket that doesn’t match your pants.

The beauty of being human is that most humans think of themselves. While yes, that doesn’t sound particularly great to hear, it’s also encouraging to know that while you’re feeling like you’re going to puke during public speaking, someone is zoning out during your speech much more captivated by whether they forgot to turn the stove off. Everyone is wrapped up in their own little lives.

So free yourself from spiraling and start to engage more in underthinking. I guarantee that no one notices but you, and I mean that in the best way possible.


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Why does voting matter so much? (In a nutshell)

If some of you have been following along with the U.S. election, whether it’s at home or abroad. You have probably been either weighing your options or just watching the spectacle. Today is the election day for the U.S. presidential election and we will be discussing the importance of voting.

You have probably been wondering, Who on earth should I vote for? For some the choice is evident, for others they may need to think about it a little more. That’s okay, as long as you get to use your option to make the choice that tailors to your values. What you ultimately think is significant.

Exercise your right to decide in the topics that matter

It’s not just the president being offered as an option in this election. There are so many topics on the ballot that differ by state. However, what you choose will be key in changing the social, political, and environmental landscape of your state.

The issues that you feel strongly about and the ones you are just learning for the first time can make all the difference. Whatever boat you find yourself in, it’s important to understand that these problems affect real people. By voting you are not only exercising your right to choose but aiding their causes as well.

Understanding the freedom to vote

As someone with family members who were not born in the U.S. I understand that my vote really means something. I know that I often hear them discuss how they wish they could participate as well, so I take the right to vote with great importance.

Although you may think that your vote won’t count amongst the millions of other votes, it does! Think of our country as a colony of ants. By doing our own part and working with each other we can create real change.

You get a sticker!

Who doesn’t love a free sticker. Arguably the most fun part of voting. By wearing your sticker you get to tell others “Hey! I participated in society!” and isn’t that really what it’s all about?

Getting to be a part of something bigger than yourself and helping other people is my favorite part and could be yours as well. So don’t be afraid to stand for your values and exercise the right to choose. Also, don’t forget to pick up a sticker on the way out!

Wearing the iconic “I Voted” sticker (you could get one too, once you go vote!)


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Topic of the Day

How old is too old for Halloween

This entry is directly inspired by a conversation I had with a friend. I use the word “friend” loosely here. More of an acquaintance I have known for a couple years now.

Recently, I had been posting on social media photos of myself wearing my old halloween costumes from previous years. I thought it would be nice to showcase that creative side of me. However, I had a friend message me and the conversation turned to him asking me what I’ll be this year.

Me as an angel, Halloween 2020

After sharing, he told me that it was “crazy” that I was 30 and still dressing up, but not before reminding me to be sure to take a picture. I did not reply, in truth, I was stunned and more than a little upset. I am 31, not 30.

I jest. The real reason why I found that upsetting is because plenty of adults dress up for Halloween. Why was I being judged for something everyone else does? When you walk into any costume store whether it is “Spirit” or “Party City” you will find sections of kids, juniors, and (you guessed it) adult costumes.

Not only that, but there are costumes for babies and pets! It looks like anyone could dress up if they wish to. I thought about pointing this out to this individual, but it felt like a waste of time. His comment had nothing to do with me.

Don’t worry about what someone thinks of you. What matters is what you think of you.

Sometimes people will judge you because it makes them feel better about themselves. There can be any number of reasons why someone does this. You can try to analyze them all you want but at the end of the day, it’s not up to you figure out why people feel the way they do towards you. As a bright woman once said,

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Me and my cat, Bruce. Halloween 2021

So I continued to post my old costumes and will continue to dress up, as long as I wish to. Dressing up for Halloween can be fun (my family does it every year for an annual photo). Life is too short to be spent worrying about what people will think of us.

We should take time to enjoy the fun and not take ourselves (as well as others) too seriously We are only human once. Let’s partake in our humanity by being kind to each other and providing space to let others feel safe to be themselves as well.

Me as a mermaid, Halloween 2022

So if you’re an adult and you feel like celebrating this year and dressing up then go for it! It is seriously so fun. It’s the one night a year where you get to be someone other than yourself, and you won’t be the only one doing it!

That being said, I hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween! 🎃


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