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How to keep a cat happy

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Is your cat constantly meowing for your attention? Does your cat paw at you when you are busy with work? You give him food, you give him water, you think maybe he has a full litter box. You check, nada. You run around looking for the problem, while your cat follows, his meowing only getting more louder and frequent. You pause and sit down, he perches next to you gently rubbing his head against your side. You give him a couple little scritches (light scratches on his head) and all of sudden the wailing stops. A different sound takes its place. Gentle purring. The sound of a happy cat.

That is how you keep a cat happy. Cats are like people in a way. They have their needs yes, and most of the time, it’s almost as if that’s all a cat really wants from us. You’ve heard the stereotypes of cats who rule their households. How it is their world and we humans are just living in it (the jury is still out on that one), but to a cat, their sustenance comes directly from you. Their affections grow because you are the provider in their small little world. You give them gifts. You make them happy by giving them these small (to us) gifts.

What is your cat’s love language?

Cats bond with their owners, some bonds are stronger than others, but chances are your cat cares enough to see you every day. To make sure you are there at the very least. Some cats aren’t as physically demanding. Some don’t like to be held, some like to be held just enough, and some would rather be smothered with affection. As a cat owner, my cat Bruce is the third, he LOVES affection. So much so that when I am on the phone with another human he will begin meowing conversely.

It’s really easy to make him happy. I simply pick him up and he begins purring. Find out what kind of language your cat is speaking. What does your cat like? I like to think that cats have their own love languages as well. The key to a cat’s heart may be the little laser he loves to chase, maybe it’s a small treat, and maybe it’s cuddles. Get to know your cat, and make that effort to keep them happy. Remember, they may be a small part of our world, but to them, we are their whole world. So give them that time and help them fulfill their own sense of happiness.

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Pets

What does “Pouring into Yourself” look like?

Leave a Comment / Self Care / /

You may have heard this phrase often. It is the classic phrase you will hear when you are on some kind of healing journey. Whether it is relationships, grief, or trauma, the phrase is one of many solutions told by us through our friends, family or therapist. But what exactly does it mean?

The Concept

Pouring into yourself is an action you take. The idea is, you have a cup. Everyone does. Your cup is full when you are being emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually fulfilled in some way. Sometimes we pour the contents of our cup into other people’s cups. Let’s say, a family member is going through a rough patch and their cup is depleted. The contents of their cup are barren in an emotional, mental, or spiritual sense. You spend a day with them, and pour contents of your cup into theirs. Whether it’s having a deep conversation or being of service to them. Their cup isn’t so barren in that moment. The concept is, to pour what you give to others, to yourself.

Pouring into your cup is taking care of yourself

So in a sense, pouring into yourself, your own cup means taking care of yourself. It is good, of course, to help others. To allow ourselves to lift up one another when we need it. But it is important to not overextend yourself. Your cup needs to be cared for too. You need to be cared for too. Some people have full cups when they fill the cups of others. That is great. People like that make the world go round. However, there is a difference between having a full cup due to having pride in the work you to do by helping others, and having a full cup from also helping yourself.

Ways to “pour into yourself”

If you haven’t already heard of the ways to pour into yourself more, here is a list of things you can do. Remember, you don’t have to feel pressure to tick off everything off the list. But being able to try and do as many as you can, can help you have a full cup.

  • Creating a Self Care Routine
  • Eating healthy
  • Exercising regularly
  • Resting and sleeping well
  • Mental health monitoring
  • Learning and growing
  • Socializing
  • Setting Boundaries
  • Positive Affirming
  • Practicing spirituality
  • and practicing gratitude daily

Lastly remember that is okay to let yourself feel any kind of emotions you are feeling. Journaling helps for me personally, as well as having a trusted person, or medical professional such as a therapist to talk to. You are not alone in your healing journey. Many people have set foot on this path. Pretty soon, you will be pouring into yourself when it matters most. When our cups are filled, we then have the capacity to fill the cups of the people we have around us.

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Self Care

How to know when it’s time to let go

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Sometimes it’s hard to let go of the things that you feel were close to your heart at some point in your life. Whether it is memories or a person, finding the strength to let go can be challenging. It’s challenging for a variety of reasons. Maybe you just aren’t ready to, maybe holding on to what you know is often comforting. For a lot of people sudden change is scary. However, sometimes change is for the best.

Recognize the endings in your life.

Yes, you read that correctly. Recognize that some things have to end. You may want to deny it, run away, or even hide from that realization, but what you need to understand is that you are letting go of something or someone for a reason. It’s probably the hardest thing to do in the moment. So hard, you can’t even fathom attempting to. Recognizing is your first step. Your first step to letting go.

How to proceed (with caution)

So you understand that letting go is necessary. You begin to allow yourself to take a moment to remember and like leaves in the wind, the memories fly. Some scatter away, lost to the great unknown, and others litter your path. You might step on a couple as you continue down your own path. A slight crunch, might make you remember again. What’s important is to keep walking. Keep going down your path, it’s okay to stop and remember (healing and letting go takes time) but always continue forward.

Remember: We don’t live in the past. We only look back when we need motivation to carry us forward.

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Life, Relationships

How to break the cycle of bad habits

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Everyone has habits, some good, and others not so great. Maybe you are trying to quit eating fast food, reduce spending too much, or maybe you just want to start going to bed earlier. Here is one scenario:

You have tried some rituals to get into the habit of going to the gym every day. For awhile it probably works. Five days go by and you seem to be getting into the groove of your new routine. Then the sixth day comes along and you find yourself skipping out on the gym because you felt especially tired after work. It’s only one day. I have been going for five days so far. Not going this one time isn’t going to hurt. Then the seventh day rolls around. Eh, I’m kinda tired today too. Tomorrow I will go for sure. Then tomorrow comes. You know what, I just need some rest, and going to the gym is exhausting. You soon subconsciously find reasons to prolong going to the gym, to the point where you find yourself not going at all.

This becomes a feedback loop of bad habits. Or a cycle of bad habits. What you need to do, is break that cycle.

Recognizing Your Bad Habits

The first thing you should do when trying to break your bad habits is to recognize which ones they are. Make a list of actions you make throughout the day and make a mark next to the ones that aren’t doing you any favors. By knowing what you need to change, you can begin to make an effort to see it through. When deciding what we want to change, we have to ask ourselves who we want to be. Do we want to be a person who is healthy and fit? Then going to the gym is the tool that helps us get there. Now we can start making an effort to go every day and break the habit of setting it aside for another time.

Breaking the Habit

Here is where you start the process of committing to your habit breaking. Perhaps you spend too much time on social media, when you should be studying. To actively break this bad habit, choose to make the habit inaccessible to you. Put app limits on social media. Turn on airplane mode. Shut off your phone entirely. Put your phone in a separate room. By making the habit harder to do, you are make it easier to ignore.

Consistency is key

Once you have established a routine, it is pretty easy to do the habit without needing to think about it at all. However, there may come a day where something could potentially upend your momentum, and soon you may revert to your old ways. What you need to do is to make sure that not only will that not happen, but you are committed to staying consistent. One way of doing in this is through a reward system in which you reward yourself for doing the hard thing for the easy thing.

If I do 3 hours of studying, I can then go on social media afterwards….. If I go to the gym for 30 minutes, then I get to go home and watch my favorite tv show… This “If _____ then ____” reward system, will motivate you to do the harder things for the easier ones. You will begin to associate studying or going to the gym, as good because you will be rewarded in the end. Your efforts did not go unnoticed. This system will be associated as something positive and will make it less resistant to reversion.

Be Gracious to Yourself

Lastly, be gracious to yourself. Breaking a bad habit takes work. But if you keep at it, your work will create results, and those results could very well change your life for the better. When you fall off one day, don’t panic. Just try again. Forgive yourself, and continue to try again. You are only human, and sometimes change doesn’t happen as quickly as we want it. So don’t feel discouraged as you begin the process. Making that first step should be commendable enough.

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Life

Why small talk is important

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You’ve probably have in some way participated in small talk. Whether it was talking about the weather, making observations, or having small musings that you shared with a stranger, it is practically inevitable. You’ve heard the saying that humans are social creatures and you have probably seen your extroverted friends socialize almost effortlessly. For some, having small talk is an important social dance that everyone has tangoed to once. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable, but for others, breaking through that initial discomfort can be rewarding.

Small talk is the first step to discovering

One of the criticisms of small talk is that it is something surface level and superficial. It is something that people force themselves to do when trying to socialize. While some people do not mind talking about the weather, others would rather get into the nitty gritty details of life. However, that is not something people naturally do in front of strangers, which is why small talk is needed. Small talk is not used for the sake of keeping things light between strangers, it is also used to create that first contact with another human being. It is the first step in a much more meaningful connection.

Think of the first time you met a friend, a partner, or a coworker. Chances are the first time you talked to them, the conversation was brief and light. You didn’t start talking about your traumas, politics, religion, or any other topic heavy discussion. You tested the waters, talked about how you guys like the same band, realized you both have a beagle, or have been to the same restaurant before. The point is, that things did not progress in your relationships without that small talk. So although people can choose to cringe at small talk, it is important to see the bigger picture. Small talk is significant because it is the first step into building new relationships. Relationships that may or may not become significant in the future. So take that leap, revel in the discomfort, and talk about that lovely weather.

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Life