Life

How to break the cycle of bad habits

Everyone has habits, some good, and others not so great. Maybe you are trying to quit eating fast food, reduce spending too much, or maybe you just want to start going to bed earlier. Here is one scenario:

You have tried some rituals to get into the habit of going to the gym every day. For awhile it probably works. Five days go by and you seem to be getting into the groove of your new routine. Then the sixth day comes along and you find yourself skipping out on the gym because you felt especially tired after work. It’s only one day. I have been going for five days so far. Not going this one time isn’t going to hurt. Then the seventh day rolls around. Eh, I’m kinda tired today too. Tomorrow I will go for sure. Then tomorrow comes. You know what, I just need some rest, and going to the gym is exhausting. You soon subconsciously find reasons to prolong going to the gym, to the point where you find yourself not going at all.

This becomes a feedback loop of bad habits. Or a cycle of bad habits. What you need to do, is break that cycle.

Recognizing Your Bad Habits

The first thing you should do when trying to break your bad habits is to recognize which ones they are. Make a list of actions you make throughout the day and make a mark next to the ones that aren’t doing you any favors. By knowing what you need to change, you can begin to make an effort to see it through. When deciding what we want to change, we have to ask ourselves who we want to be. Do we want to be a person who is healthy and fit? Then going to the gym is the tool that helps us get there. Now we can start making an effort to go every day and break the habit of setting it aside for another time.

Breaking the Habit

Here is where you start the process of committing to your habit breaking. Perhaps you spend too much time on social media, when you should be studying. To actively break this bad habit, choose to make the habit inaccessible to you. Put app limits on social media. Turn on airplane mode. Shut off your phone entirely. Put your phone in a separate room. By making the habit harder to do, you are make it easier to ignore.

Consistency is key

Once you have established a routine, it is pretty easy to do the habit without needing to think about it at all. However, there may come a day where something could potentially upend your momentum, and soon you may revert to your old ways. What you need to do is to make sure that not only will that not happen, but you are committed to staying consistent. One way of doing in this is through a reward system in which you reward yourself for doing the hard thing for the easy thing.

If I do 3 hours of studying, I can then go on social media afterwards….. If I go to the gym for 30 minutes, then I get to go home and watch my favorite tv show… This “If _____ then ____” reward system, will motivate you to do the harder things for the easier ones. You will begin to associate studying or going to the gym, as good because you will be rewarded in the end. Your efforts did not go unnoticed. This system will be associated as something positive and will make it less resistant to reversion.

Be Gracious to Yourself

Lastly, be gracious to yourself. Breaking a bad habit takes work. But if you keep at it, your work will create results, and those results could very well change your life for the better. When you fall off one day, don’t panic. Just try again. Forgive yourself, and continue to try again. You are only human, and sometimes change doesn’t happen as quickly as we want it. So don’t feel discouraged as you begin the process. Making that first step should be commendable enough.

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Life

Why small talk is important

You’ve probably have in some way participated in small talk. Whether it was talking about the weather, making observations, or having small musings that you shared with a stranger, it is practically inevitable. You’ve heard the saying that humans are social creatures and you have probably seen your extroverted friends socialize almost effortlessly. For some, having small talk is an important social dance that everyone has tangoed to once. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable, but for others, breaking through that initial discomfort can be rewarding.

Small talk is the first step to discovering

One of the criticisms of small talk is that it is something surface level and superficial. It is something that people force themselves to do when trying to socialize. While some people do not mind talking about the weather, others would rather get into the nitty gritty details of life. However, that is not something people naturally do in front of strangers, which is why small talk is needed. Small talk is not used for the sake of keeping things light between strangers, it is also used to create that first contact with another human being. It is the first step in a much more meaningful connection.

Think of the first time you met a friend, a partner, or a coworker. Chances are the first time you talked to them, the conversation was brief and light. You didn’t start talking about your traumas, politics, religion, or any other topic heavy discussion. You tested the waters, talked about how you guys like the same band, realized you both have a beagle, or have been to the same restaurant before. The point is, that things did not progress in your relationships without that small talk. So although people can choose to cringe at small talk, it is important to see the bigger picture. Small talk is significant because it is the first step into building new relationships. Relationships that may or may not become significant in the future. So take that leap, revel in the discomfort, and talk about that lovely weather.

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Life